littlefallsmets ⋅ 44

I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.

with enough repetition, your flaws become your style

@Cecconi140

Entries 4,999

Page 2 of 200

California’s earthquakes have nothing to do with the curse, of course, earthquakes are just plate tectonics reminding us there are far weirder things lying beneath than what looms above. We’re al...


April 09, 2024

april 10 in idea barrages

LESS CONCERN ABOUT EARNING POTENTIAL, MORE CONCERN ABOUT YEARNING POTENTIAL If you’re not there yet, lemme tell you, one of the fun things about getting old is when you hear “nostalgia tours”...


April 07, 2024

april 8 in idea barrages

“Oh man, I’m sorry I forgot you’re a vegetarian.” “No problem, no ham, no fowl.” We may as well give Willy Wonka a nemesis who is a TikTok chocolate influencer called Hustle Stovers. Someti...


April 05, 2024

april 6 in idea barrages

A movie about a serial killer whose calling card is a box of Milano cookies called PEPPERIDGE FARMS REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. When the suits aren’t taking a cut, they tell artists t...


The Curse of the Thirty Mile Zone existed long before Cinema, is centuries older than motion pictures, and will exist for eons hence. Perhaps less obviously than it does now, but it suffused the ...


April 02, 2024

april 4 in idea barrages

If I had any musical talent, I’d craft an summer rock anthem called “I’m Handsome For A Thick Boy”, not only for all the other chonky dudes to gain confidence, but for myself, since it’d be my ...


April 02, 2024

ap2 in idea barrages

If they can build a bottle opener into every folding knife ever, they can probably build them into big dangly earrings in a way that isn’t obvious to anyone but the wearer, right? Is this the n...


April 02, 2024

ap1 in idea barrages

It turned out that Carmen Sandiego was in San Diego the whole time. Yeah. Reverse psychology is a key weapon for international thieves, apparently. You don’t get many opportunities to retort ...


March 29, 2024

march 30 in idea barrages

You have completed the 101 class, watching Barbie and Oppenheimer as a double feature, “Barbenheimer”. Good. Now onto the advanced lesson, watch Frankenhooker and Toxic Avenger back to back or,...


Someone once asked John Lennon an obvious question, as to whether the song “Lucy in The Sky with Diamonds” was actually about drugs, because yes, of course it was about drugs. The initials were L...


March 27, 2024

march 28 in idea barrages

You have completed the 101 class, watching Barbie and Oppenheimer as a double feature, “Barbenheimer”. Good. Now onto the advanced lesson, watch Frankenhooker and Toxic Avenger back to back or,...


March 24, 2024

march 26 in idea barrages

If you ever have the opportunity to respond condescendingly to The Pringles Guy, please start your retort with the words “My brother in crisps”. Thank you. A parody of “Dancing In The Moonlig...


March 24, 2024

march 24 in idea barrages

How about a law where no one can get another yacht until they’ve entirely finished eating their first one? Sometimes life feels like a collections of times they didn’t say “yes” because you t...


March 21, 2024

march 22 in idea barrages

The opposite of story is not silence. The opposite of story is spectacle. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes a mix of the two opposites is a glorious thing, but always story first and spectacle seco...


According to The Amazing Mitzi, while many of Hollywood’s ironies are indeed side-effects of The Thirty-Mile-Zone’s obfuscating enchantment, it’s far from all. Some are geographical, some climato...


March 18, 2024

march 20 in idea barrages

Nearly any advertising campaign could use the slogan: THE PAST OF THE FUTURE IS NOW. A Neil Young parody about awful chain bar food called “Buffalo wildwings again”. Then there was, of cour...


March 17, 2024

march 18 in poetry

John Jacob Barbenheimerschmidt, that name is my name too, whenever I go out, the people all will shout “THERE GOES JOHN JACOB BARBENHEIMERSCHMIDT, NA NA NA NA NA NA NA!” If a poorly-formed er...


March 16, 2024

march 16 in idea barrages

A half-funeral parlor half-ice cream stand called “The Creamatoria”. I deeply enjoy referring to Phil Collins as “former Genesis drummer Phil Collins”. I don’t know why. I think maybe I just ...


March 14, 2024

march 14 in idea barrages

The relative percentage of weird British food in your diet is your “aspic ratio”. Every failure protected you from a “success” that you would’ve discovered you didn’t actually want or couldn’...


I don’t collect things because I think they are worth a lot of money or are going to be worth a lot of money someday. Far from it. When I was a child, I suppose I thought that way about some of m...


March 11, 2024

mar12 in idea barrages

Oomp, there it was. Oomp, there it was. The idea you can “win” life as it were a sport or a game is a lie they tell you to divide you, to make you war over scraps while pigs on high feast, to...


March 09, 2024

mar10 in idea barrages

All I know is that if this were D&D, this Supreme Court would not be able to pass a Constitution check. Did they ever sell Shrek-branded yogurt as Ogrut? Seems like an unforced error to n...


March 07, 2024

mar8 in idea barrages

I love the idea in fantasy fiction of a character who is accidentally strong against true-name magic because they don’t know their own true name. So out of tune with the mystic that they’re res...


Pain is not art, of course, and is not where art comes from. It’s understandably confused, though, don’t beat yourself up about it. They manifest in similar places, at similar times. It is easy t...


March 05, 2024

meaningless distinctions in poetry

it is my generation’s remit to figure out how to piss on irony’s grave, but you know in a kind of a loving way? it made us feel so clever it made us feel so smart it ...


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